I almost didn’t pray

Matthew 27:57–60 (NLT)

“As evening approached, Joseph, a rich man from Arimathea who had become a follower of Jesus, went to Pilate and asked for Jesus’ body…”

Tonight, I almost did not pray.

Not because I do not love God, but because I found myself in a quiet, honest place one where words felt heavy, and silence felt more truthful. I realized that sometimes the struggle is not rebellion, but a gentle invitation to sit with God differently… to unpack, to reflect, to be.

As I sat with the scripture, I found myself drawn deeply into the life of Joseph of Arimathea.

Here was a man who stepped forward at what seemed like the lowest point of Jesus’ story. There was no visible victory yet. No resurrection had happened. No glory had been revealed. From a human perspective, everything looked finished final, defeated.

And yet, Joseph chose to show up. He asked for Jesus’ body. He honored Him. He gave what he had his own tomb.

This was not transactional. There was nothing to gain. No applause. No promise of return in that moment. And that is what pierced my heart.

Because in a world like Johannesburg fast, driven, and often transactional it is easy to measure relationships by return. It is easy to love with conditions. To give with expectations. To show up only when there is something on the other side.

But Joseph reminds me of another way.

A purer way. A love that gives even when it looks like the story has ended. A character that serves even when no one is watching.

A heart that honors God, not for what He will do but simply for who He is. And tonight, that is my prayer:

“Lord, build that kind of character in me.” Let my first instinct be to give. Let my posture be one of honor. Let my love be free from calculation.

Because what Joseph did looked small but it became eternal. His act of kindness was written into the greatest story ever told. What a legacy… born from a single, selfless act

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