This week may not look significant to anyone else, but it is significant to me.
My calendar is full lunches, meetings, conversations, introductions. Yesterday there was a lunch. Today another. Friday another. And now a breakfast with banking leaders here in Ireland. On paper, this is progress. On paper, this is answered prayer. On paper, this is influence expanding.
But inside, I feel overwhelmed. Not because the opportunities are bad they are good. Not because I am unprepared I am capable. But because expansion is uncomfortable.
This morning I was reminded that when I declare, “By His stripes I am healed,” I am not speaking only about physical healing. I am speaking about mental steadiness. Emotional regulation. Courage for new terrain. Healing from the anxiety of the unknown.
I know why I feel nervous: it is the unfamiliar. The constant newness of the past two weeks. The stretching. And here is the irony I prayed for this.
I prayed for doors to open.
I prayed for my territory to enlarge. I prayed for global exposure. I prayed for rooms beyond what I had seen growing up.
But sometimes when we pray “enlarge my tent,” we do not fully grasp what enlargement requires.
Enlargement stretches fabric. Enlargement pulls stakes deeper. Enlargement demands capacity.
Sometimes we pray but secretly doubt it will happen. Sometimes we pray without counting the cost. Sometimes we pray with no concept of what it will actually feel like when the answer arrives.
And then it happens.
The girl from a small village in KwaZulu-Natal who once did not know what “overseas” meant now sits in foreign cities, walking into rooms she once could not imagine.
The door is open. And the daughter is overwhelmed. But she is not misplaced.
She is not an impostor. She is stretched. And stretching is not rejection. It is preparation.
Wells of Wonder 